January, 2010

Perfectionism in its most common form includes some negative aspects. I don’t believe perfectionism is bad on its own, so I tried to figure out the cause of these problems.

Thinking about it got me to write an article about aimless perfectionism, which covers the most basic misconception about perfectionism: Not knowing what being perfect means. You have to know what your perfectionism is all about! This is the first essential step.

But it doesn’t stop at that point. Let’s talk about a concrete negative aspect of perfectionism: The fear of making mistakes.
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“If a man does not know what port he is steering for, no wind is favorable to him.” ~Seneca

You know, I think a lot about perfectionism. And sometimes, perfectionism seems to be unlogical. It seems to bear some paradoxons.

One example: A typical perfectionist’s fear of failure is always holding him back. It takes away possibilities to learn and explore. It sets artificial limits.

Well, paradoxons are always a clear sign of some logical fault, so I tried to find out what’s behind them. One key issue seems to be that lots of (or even most) perfectionists don’t seem to know what they define as perfect. They try to be perfect without knowing what being perfect actually means to them.
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Self development is like riding a bicycle: Little hills are easy to cross if you got some momentum. If you loose too much momentum however, you need to shift down or you may even need to get off your bike and push it to the top of the hill. At the cost of some valuable time.

No matter it can be physically demanding to always keep your momentum but you reach your goals much faster if you do. Plus, it’s somewhat more pleasant to feel the fresh air pressing against you.

Unfortunately, there are neither mental pedals nor mental feet you could pedal with. So building mental momentum differs a little from building speed on a bike. But just a little.

Let’s see how building mental momentum actually works:
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Oversleeping and wasting time drowsing are common problems most of us face regularly. Well, you can get out of bed as soon as your alarm rings. Every single day. It doesn’t even have to be very hard to do so. All you need is the will to do it and some self-discipline.

Why People Oversleep

There are some different reasons for oversleeping and staying in bed for too long:

• Not hearing the alarm ring: What can I say about this one? Actually, the solution is kinda easy in this case: Get a louder alarm clock! If you regularly miss your alarm you should change something about it.
• Drugs: I don’t want to talk a lot about this point as it’s pretty obvious. If you’re too drunk to stand up, how do you think you could get out of bed on time? Same applies to some other drugs. Just don’t do drugs if you want to wake up at a precise time the following day. (Drinking a lot of coffee can have negative effects on your sleep as well.)
• Tricking yourself to stay in bed: This is where it starts to get interesting. And basically, that’s the point this article really is about. The problem with it is: This sort of tricking yourself has become a habit for most of us. Especially on weekends. You’re giving away valuable time this way. Solving this problem takes some time as you will have to replace the habit of tricking yourself to stay in bed by the habit of getting out of bed as soon as your alarm rings.

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Role modeling is a very effective method for self improvement. If – and only if – it is done the right way.

I know, some people won’t acknowledge that. Maybe you’re one of those people. Maybe you think of role modeling as childish or you think it’s a method only weak people use. In fact, it’s none of the kind.

What not to do

It’s probably true that a lot of weak people got some kind of role models. And they might aim at becoming like their superstars, but trying to become like your role models is not what you should do. Here’s why:
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You can become more self-confident by adjusting your body language. That’s a fact.

Your feelings influence your body language and your body language influences your feelings. It works both ways. It’s just that most people are not aware of the second way, of the way I’ll discuss here. What a pity! They’re missing a valuable opportunity to have a conscious effect on their subconsciousness!

Today I experienced this direct relationship when I was playing around with my own body language while walking to the train station. I decided to increase the range of my arms’ swing. Just a little. Maybe 1-2 inches into either direction.

Strangely enough, it did have a noticeable effect on my feelings: I did feel like I got more energy. Like I was more outgoing, more self-confident.
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Did you read my article The Basics of Memory Improvement yet? Although it’s not essential to understand the text below, I do recommend reading it first.

Let’s face it, most people are horrible bad at remembering numbers. You probably know the struggle of remembering phone numbers or historical dates. Fortunately you can easily improve your memory for numbers. You don’t even need any special genes to do that.

In fact, remembering numbers can be pretty easy if you know how to do it. And I’ll tell you how to do it. Ain’t that great? Yeah, but hold back. The best technique is of little use if you don’t practice using it. And you will need to practice to make this technique effective. That’s the point where most people quit. Don’t be like that.
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