Is it because people are different? Does self development only work for a special kind of people? I don’t think so. But there’s one essential part that is rarely mentioned:

Successful self development needs a solid basis. It has to come from within.

Sadly, a lot of people seem to ignore that fact completely. They try to rush into self development, using any promising sounding scheme that they found anywhere on the internet. But do they ever ask themselves whether they are ready to use the scheme? Probably not. Unfortunately, even the most sophisticated scheme only works if you comply with its requirements.

An Example of a Failed Attempt

Take the following common approach for example: Mr. X is completely dissatisfied with his own life. He’s one step away from depression and thinks of himself as crap. Not worthy to lead a happy life.

Now X decides to finally do something to improve these conditions, so he informs himself about self improvement. What he finds on one of the websites he browsed is the following method:

“Say out loud that you love yourself and your life. Do this every morning just after getting out of bed. This will result in higher self-esteem and a more positive attitude.”

Alright, X applies the method. He does exactly what was said on the website. But he gets strange results, because this is what happens: He slips right into depression. His self-esteem is as low as it can be. How could something like this happen to him?

It happened because he lied to himself. He might said that he loves his life but in reality he hated it. And that’s what he thought while he recited the words that should improve his life. So basically, he just increased the frequency of negative thoughts instead of creating a positive attitude.

The simple truth is: You can’t lie to yourself. That’s what X didn’t know. You can surely do better than him!

How I Created My Basis

Well, at first I should tell you that my starting point didn’t look all too bad. It all started about one year ago. I liked my life but I just wasn’t completely satisfied with all aspects.

That’s why I began to read a lot about self development and psychology. (Some of the books I found to be especially useful are listed on the page Resources.)

Some months ago I began to think a lot about my own life. About the goals I want to reach and about who I am. I’m not talking about this kind of daydreaming here. I sat down in front of my computer and concentrated on some basic questions while I wrote down every thought I considered to be important. This thinking process lead to some nice insights.

Now I’m still developing. Still thinking and gathering new information. The next step I need to take is going from theory to practice.

I can’t tell you how my life goes on but the quality of my life already improved and I feel that it’s still improving. So my approach worked for me. Still, I don’t want you to just copy what I did. Because my approach will not work for anyone.

Maybe you got a slight idea on how a successful self development attempt can look like. An attempt that came from within. Now it’s up to you whether you make use of this information or not. Just remember to go your own way.

I’ll tell you a little example. If you think you suck in life (and therefore have a negative attitude) your success will be very limited. I don’t want to go into great detail here, but basically, having a negative attitude leads to a vicious circle: You think you fail, therefore you fail. This failing increases your negative attitude, making it even more likely for you to fail in the future.

Fortunately, this vicious circle works very similar with a positive attitude. Well, the circle ain’t really vicious in that case but the principles remain the same: Having a positive attitude directly increases your success. This success reinforces your positive attitude. (Read Why a Positive Attitude Leads to Success for a detailed explanation on why a positive attitude leads to success.)

But not only does your attitude influence your success. Getting knowledge and understanding is dependent on your attitude as well for the same reasons.

So what exactly is the right attitude for learning, reading or thinking?

Be Interested

First of all, you need to be interested in the subject. Being interested leads to a better memorization and keeps you motivated. You might know from school that learning about some boring subject is way harder than learning about a subject you’re interested in.

So, if you want to know a lot about different subjects, the first step you should take is to become interested in all those subjects.

I know, this sounds easier than it actually is, but once you’re interested in a topic, it will be so much easier for you to learn more about it.

Be Open-Minded

Don’t disapprove of something just because it seems to be strange at first glance.

Many great theories seemed weird when they’ve been proposed. The theory of relativity is a perfect example for this. It suggests some really strange things but it has helped scientists a lot to understand more of the world around us.

However, don’t mistake being open-minded for believing anything that is told to you. People lie and people talk about stuff they don’t understand themselves. That’s why the next point is crucial.

Be Critical

This one is especially important if you browse the internet a lot. So this might be especially important for you, I mean, you are just reading an article published in the internet. Don’t believe everything I tell you without asking yourself if it makes any sense.

Seriously, people tell a lot of bullshit. If something seems to be very obscure, then you might want to check the source of this information before you believe it in all its fabulous details.

Try to keep those points in mind.

Why is it that some people seem to be successful in every way while others fail doing the most basic things? What separates successful people from the unsuccessful?

Of course, there are some different factors, but I truly believe that a positive attitude works wonders with regard to your overall success. And I got some good reasons to believe that:

Effects on Others

Your inner state is constantly visible to other people. Sometimes they perceive it unconsciously,
but they definitely perceive it. This means that a change of your attitude alters the way people think about you. And that’s why a positive attitude brings about the following advantages:

• It’s easier for you to get to know people. As people with a positive attitude are usually seen as more approachable, people talk to you more often. So it will be easier for you to get to know others. This directly leads to the next point:
• You have more friends and better business opportunities. Others are also more likely to like you and trust you if they sense a positive attitude within yourself. People just feel good in your presence. But not only the quantity of your friendships improves, the quality improves as well. That’s because of the next consequence:
• You attract other people with a positive attitude. Those other people will amplify your own point of view which creates some kind of loop.

Effects on Yourself

A positive attitude has several favorable effects on yourself as well. You probably could have guessed that for your own but let’s go into details:

• You don’t waste your time with pessimism. Your attitude determines your thoughts. If you’re optimistic you just don’t think pessimistic thoughts as often as others do. And this is a time saver. Pessimism doesn’t get you anywhere. So there remains more time to think about the important stuff.
• You tend to give up later. If you have a positive attitude, you trust yourself. This trust leads to good endurance. Lots of people give up before they reach their goals, so this endurance gives you a huge advantage over them.
• You believe in yourself. If you don’t think you can reach your goals, you won’t reach your goals. You automatically use a kind of negative autosuggestion if you have a negative attitude, manipulating yourself into failing.
• You’re motivated and enthusiastic. Your goals seem to be closer if you’re optimistic. And this is what helps you to create a stronger desire within yourself. A desire that gives rise to enthusiasm, motivation and a better focus, which all can be seen as real boosters for your success.
• You’re healthier. Last but not least, your attitude has a direct effect on your body. It’s because your thoughts and believes do influence your inner processes. The placebo effect should be proof enough for this. So people with a positive attitude are healthier than those with a negative one. And health is beneficial for success.

So what about your own attitude? Are you an optimistic person or do you want to change your attitude?