Thinking about it got me to write an article about aimless perfectionism, which covers the most basic misconception about perfectionism: Not knowing what being perfect means. You have to know what your perfectionism is all about! This is the first essential step.

But it doesn’t stop at that point. Let’s talk about a concrete negative aspect of perfectionism: The fear of making mistakes.

Almost all perfectionists know the fear of making mistakes. It’s something that constantly troubles you if you are a perfectionist. This constant trouble is the base of almost all other negative effects of perfectionism.

What I found out is: This fear of making mistakes is based on a single misconception. Phew, that’s great thing to hear, isn’t it? This means you can get rid of a lot of negative effects of perfectionism by correcting one misconception!

So how to correct this misunderstanding?

There are no mistakes by nature. So what does making a mistake actually mean? Does it mean failing at a test or getting a bad response to any of your actions? Don’t scream ‘yes’ at that point! If that’s what you mean, then you can’t avoid making mistakes! Mistakes are not about the outcome of your actions. I know, it might be a common definition of making a mistake, but the mass is not always right.

So what does making a mistake really mean? It means not acting according to your beliefs in any particular situation. And that’s something very different. You can always act according to your beliefs.

If you keep that in mind you will get rid of some unnecessary burdens, to say the least. You might need some time to get used to this new conception but once you got used to it, you will enjoy the freedom it causes.

Your perfectionist fears will vanish. And most of the other negative aspects of perfectionism will vanish as well. You will be able to let go and still be a perfectionist. A combination that I myself wouldn’t have thought to be possible some weeks ago.

You know, I think a lot about perfectionism. And sometimes, perfectionism seems to be unlogical. It seems to bear some paradoxons.

One example: A typical perfectionist’s fear of failure is always holding him back. It takes away possibilities to learn and explore. It sets artificial limits.

Well, paradoxons are always a clear sign of some logical fault, so I tried to find out what’s behind them. One key issue seems to be that lots of (or even most) perfectionists don’t seem to know what they define as perfect. They try to be perfect without knowing what being perfect actually means to them.

How effective can this possibly be? You have to be very lucky to move into the right direction to say the least! If your goal is not clearly defined, then you have no goal. In that case you’re on an aimless journey, my friend! You should think about your aim before starting to jump into random directions.

So what does being perfect mean to you? Which parts of yourself can be improved? How would you notice your improvement? Think about it.

Also ask yourself if your concept of being perfect is realistic. Unrealistic goals are about as bad as nonexistent goals. Your goals shouldn’t be dependent on chance either. Or which steps are you about to take to influence chance?

You may write your thoughts down. Having a list describing the perfect you would also be a nice idea. You could update it from time to time and check your progress.

Anyway, if you thought about your aim long enough, some paradoxons and other issues will start to disappear.

I did it myself and it helped big time to improve. For me, being perfect means being yourself and acting according to your beliefs. If you think about the example from the top of this article again you will see that this concept of perfection will do much better to get you through situations that would scare aimless perfectionists.

In fact, ‘failing’ will change its meaning if you change your concept of perfection. For me, ‘failing’ means not being yourself, not acting accordning to your beliefs in any particular situation. As you see, this is also a somewhat more stable goal. And it’s a goal that can be reached. What more can you ask for?

The truth is that you probably don’t know mathematics. Math is not what you learned at school. Math is not calculating or applying formulas to get results you don’t even understand. Even studying mathematics involves some things which I wouldn’t label as real math.

Real math is like playing around in the imaginary realms of logic. Mathematical proving is like painting. Just that you’re not dependent on painting equipment. Math is an act of creativity. And that’s one reason why I like it so much.

I know this gotta be kinda hard to believe if you only know school math and never engaged in the real thing. Because obviously, school math doesn’t really improve your creativity. It rather destroys the beauty of the insights gained over the last thousands of years by presenting them as numb formulas that you have to apply in a very specific manner. In a very stupid manner. School math at most trains you to follow fixed schemes. But that’s school math.

Despite those facts, I also liked school math to some extent. I’m not 100% why I did so but I guess it was simply because I was good at it. It was probably also because I like working out my brain. And even that school stuff is activating some few brain cells.

I say few because mathematical proving activates a lot more.

That’s the other point why mathematics is one of my favorite subjects.

Perfectionism and Math

I as a perfectionist also like math because it’s so exact. But at the same time, it’s creative and somehow subjective. This might seem contradictory. And maybe it is.

So math could also be a part of my way out of ‘false’ perfectionism. The logical way out of it. (I’ll still have to think about that one here, let’s see where it will lead me…)

Other Resources

Hopefully you got a vague idea about what real mathematics actually is. If you want to know more about it, I highly recommend you to read Lockhart’s Lament.

I read it some time ago and it really opened my eyes. Not only does it explain in detail why people don’t like school math, it also shows how beautiful math can be. Plus it contains some very nice analogies. It’s really worth reading.

But why is that? Why exactly? What are the disadvantages of being a perfectionist? Of trying to be perfect?

That’s what I want to answer in this article. (Of course, there are benefits as well but that’s just not what this article is about.)

Let’s just jump to the negative effects of perfectionism:

• Low productivity: As a perfectionists you tend to pay a lot of attention to unimportant details. So you usually need longer to write articles complete other work.
• Psychic instability: People are not perfect. And moments of failure haunt you. In times of (even little) failure, you may hate yourself for being imperfect. This can result in low self-esteem and depression.
• More stress: If you want to be perfect in every way, then you put yourself under a huge constant unhealthy pressure. This can also lead to increased nervousness and therefore increased chance of failure.
• Constant fear of failure: Fear is bad enough on its own. The problem is, that you also act less because of this constant fear. Paradoxically, this also means that you miss chances to improve yourself.
• Less enjoyment: Just letting go is quite pleasant. The problem is that perfectionists usually can’t just let go. It’s also because of the previous point. A perfectionist doesn’t want to let go because he fears the possible consequences of losing control for a moment. It seems to be a basic perfectionistic belief that you need to control everything if you want to be perfect.

All in all, extreme perfectionism can have really horrible consequences. It’s a strive for perfectionism that doesn’t end. A strive for perfectionism that can destroy you.

In most of its different forms, perfectionism seldom makes you smile. It rather takes away your smile. But in case you’ve ever tried to change such a deep-rooted attitude you should know that it’s extremely hard to get rid of it. And it takes a lot of time.