Thinking about it got me to write an article about aimless perfectionism, which covers the most basic misconception about perfectionism: Not knowing what being perfect means. You have to know what your perfectionism is all about! This is the first essential step.

But it doesn’t stop at that point. Let’s talk about a concrete negative aspect of perfectionism: The fear of making mistakes.

Almost all perfectionists know the fear of making mistakes. It’s something that constantly troubles you if you are a perfectionist. This constant trouble is the base of almost all other negative effects of perfectionism.

What I found out is: This fear of making mistakes is based on a single misconception. Phew, that’s great thing to hear, isn’t it? This means you can get rid of a lot of negative effects of perfectionism by correcting one misconception!

So how to correct this misunderstanding?

There are no mistakes by nature. So what does making a mistake actually mean? Does it mean failing at a test or getting a bad response to any of your actions? Don’t scream ‘yes’ at that point! If that’s what you mean, then you can’t avoid making mistakes! Mistakes are not about the outcome of your actions. I know, it might be a common definition of making a mistake, but the mass is not always right.

So what does making a mistake really mean? It means not acting according to your beliefs in any particular situation. And that’s something very different. You can always act according to your beliefs.

If you keep that in mind you will get rid of some unnecessary burdens, to say the least. You might need some time to get used to this new conception but once you got used to it, you will enjoy the freedom it causes.

Your perfectionist fears will vanish. And most of the other negative aspects of perfectionism will vanish as well. You will be able to let go and still be a perfectionist. A combination that I myself wouldn’t have thought to be possible some weeks ago.

You know, I think a lot about perfectionism. And sometimes, perfectionism seems to be unlogical. It seems to bear some paradoxons.

One example: A typical perfectionist’s fear of failure is always holding him back. It takes away possibilities to learn and explore. It sets artificial limits.

Well, paradoxons are always a clear sign of some logical fault, so I tried to find out what’s behind them. One key issue seems to be that lots of (or even most) perfectionists don’t seem to know what they define as perfect. They try to be perfect without knowing what being perfect actually means to them.

How effective can this possibly be? You have to be very lucky to move into the right direction to say the least! If your goal is not clearly defined, then you have no goal. In that case you’re on an aimless journey, my friend! You should think about your aim before starting to jump into random directions.

So what does being perfect mean to you? Which parts of yourself can be improved? How would you notice your improvement? Think about it.

Also ask yourself if your concept of being perfect is realistic. Unrealistic goals are about as bad as nonexistent goals. Your goals shouldn’t be dependent on chance either. Or which steps are you about to take to influence chance?

You may write your thoughts down. Having a list describing the perfect you would also be a nice idea. You could update it from time to time and check your progress.

Anyway, if you thought about your aim long enough, some paradoxons and other issues will start to disappear.

I did it myself and it helped big time to improve. For me, being perfect means being yourself and acting according to your beliefs. If you think about the example from the top of this article again you will see that this concept of perfection will do much better to get you through situations that would scare aimless perfectionists.

In fact, ‘failing’ will change its meaning if you change your concept of perfection. For me, ‘failing’ means not being yourself, not acting accordning to your beliefs in any particular situation. As you see, this is also a somewhat more stable goal. And it’s a goal that can be reached. What more can you ask for?